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This week I’m happy to report that I’ve finally finished the first draft of my novel. By first draft I mean something that I’m comfortable enough to have someone read and that they will understand the story. Originally I was supposed to be done with this draft at the end of the year, then I needed another month, and then another week, but I finally managed to print a copy for my 13-year old son to read and offer me his feedback. I know he’s young, but he’s the biggest reader in our family, so I figure this will be a good test to see if the book has any potential.

For the record, I’m not forcing him to do this because I’m his dad. He’s actually really curious what I’ve been writing about and wants to read what his old man’s been up to. He is supposed to read it this weekend so I’ll report back next week what he says.

Currently the book is just over 43,000 words, which is on the short side for a novel, but I could see it getting a little longer during the rewrite process. I’m also totally fine with it staying this length or even getting a little shorter since I’ve always thought it would be nice to write a book that people can easily read in one afternoon.

I’m guessing I probably have at least six more months of rewriting to do before I’ll be satisfied enough to publish it, but I’ve definitely never felt this close before, and I’m optimistic that this is finally going to be the year that I finish.

I will say it’s been an interesting experience. I feel like I’m learning a lot about what it takes to take on a project like this. So much so that if the book ends up being a success, and there’s enough people that care, I’d love to write a book about writing the book. But one step at a time.

It’s embarrassing to admit, but I used to daydream about what it would be like to be a famous author kind of like how someone might daydream about winning the lotto. But now that I see the light at the end of the tunnel, I’m finding myself worrying about how it’s going to feel if my book is a total flop and nobody cares at all.

The fact is I’ve dreamed of becoming a writer pretty much my entire adult life. Remember, I even once quit a perfectly fine job to pursue my writerly ambitions. I honestly don’t know how I’ll handle it if I have to accept that it’s just been a pipe dream this whole time. I’m guessing it’ll feel like losing a part of my identity. Maybe I need to start coming up with some back-up dreams sooner rather than later.

But I also realize that I can’t keep putting it off due to a fear of failure. Because even if the book doesn’t work out, it’ll be good to finally know that it’s time to move on, that it’s time to devote my time and energy into something more productive. But also probably pretty depressing as well, so I guess I better work really hard to try and make sure that doesn’t happen.

In a way, the whole situation reminds me a lot of how I feel about the eCash project. That’s another thing in my life that I’ve believed in and devoted my energy to for a long time without having much to show for it so far. But I haven’t given up on that either. Hopefully in the end, I find that I have great taste when it comes to both cryptocurrencies and literature.

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